


A Reason to Hope

by MossadHuntinDog



Series: The Family's Soul [7]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Family Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 22:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1664615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MossadHuntinDog/pseuds/MossadHuntinDog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the truth can be painful, at other times, it can set you free. At this moment, she prayed it would be the latter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Reason to Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: NCIS, sadly, is not mine.

"I... I _don't understand_... you... you _aren't_ my mom?"

Ziva swallowed, forcing herself to meet her daughter's gaze. At that moment, she hated Tony for blabbing the truth- especially since it'd been during the family dinner they'd had for Elizabeth's fourteenth birthday. Why the fuck hadn't she taken the wine and dumped it down the sink? Technically, it was her fault Elizabeth had been told the truth tonight, but Tony had a big hand in it, since it'd been his mouth that had opened. She twisted her wedding ring, not looking at her daughter.

A moment passed, before Ziva glanced at Sarah, who sat in the armchair, silent. Slowly, the older woman got up and took a seat beside her daughter. Clearing her throat, she choked out,

"There's... there's something Daddy and I need to tell you. Something important. Something that... that pertains to... to you." She bit her lip, glancing around at their surrogate family, struggling to gather her courage. "I... I can't have children. I... I haven't been able to for... for several years. An... an accident took that chance away from me."

"So... so am I... even your daughter?" The former Israeli took a deep breath. With the most painful of nods, she replied,

"No. Not biologically. But," She met the girl's gaze, reaching out and laying a hand over the child's before pulling away. "but you are my daughter in _every way_ that matters, Elizabeth. In every way that's important." She reached up, taking the girl's face in her hands, but Elizabeth pulled away, turning to Tim.

"Then... then who is my mother? And... are you even _my dad_?" This time, she caught the glance Tim threw Sarah. "Daddy?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, before resting his elbows on his knees and taking a deep breath, clearing his throat. "No, Elizabeth, I'm not. We're related by blood, but I'm not your father. I'm... I'm your uncle."

_"What?"_ The girl just stared at him, horrified. "Do... do you even know who my parents are?" Tim nodded, meeting Sarah's gaze. The girl turned, seeing Sarah curled up in the chair. Her green gaze bounced back and forth between Tim and Sarah, as she clumsily connected the dots, trying to connect them in her scrambled mind. "A... _Aunt Sarah_? You... you mean she's... that makes you my... _my uncle_? So... so she's... she's... _she's my mom_?"

"Your birth mother." Everyone turned to the young college alum. "I'm your _birth_ mother; Ziva is your _mother_. Has been from the moment I found out I was pregnant."

"But... but didn't... didn't you love me? Didn't you _want_ me?" Ziva closed her eyes, burying the pain she didn't want Elizabeth to see. The girl didn't realize how deep the simple questions cut; how painful it was for her to listen to her daughter ask those questions from a young woman who'd been so scared, so uncertain, that she'd given up her baby for adoption. A moment passed, as Sarah seemed to think it over, before she shook her head.

"No. I didn't want you, and... yes, a part of me does love you, but as my _niece_ , not as my daughter. You've never been my daughter, and you never will be. I can't love you the way Ziva does; she is your mother, in every way that matters. And Timmy, he loves you more than life itself. They both do. Don't shut them out, don't hurt them because they aren't the ones that gave birth to you, that brought you into this world. If you want to hurt anyone, hurt me."

"So... so we share... we share DNA?" Elizabeth asked, turning to Tim. He nodded.

"Yes. You and I are blood relatives- uncle and niece. But... but I've raised you as my daughter from the moment you were born. Because I love you. Because Ziva and I both love you." Elizabeth turned, glancing at Ziva, silent. Without a word, the former Israeli sprang from her seat; Tim reached out, grabbing her arm, but she pulled away, rushing for the back door, Jethro at her heels. _"Ziva-"_ He glanced at Elizabeth, before following his wife. Once they were gone, the girl turned to the others, emotionally shutdown and exhausted. All she wanted was to go upstairs and crawl into bed.

"So... so my whole life is... is a _lie_?"

"Oh sweetheart, no." She looked up as Abby and Gibbs took her parents' places on either side of her. "Everything, every amount of love, everything you experienced, is true. Tim and Ziva love you with all their hearts; it doesn't matter that they're blood or not, they love you and that's what matters."

"But they _lied_ -"

"Lilibet." She met Gibbs' blue eyes, tears in her own. "Did anyone ever tell you that a little lie is good for the soul?"

"But this is a _huge_ lie, Gibbs!"

"No, it's not. It's just a tiny little lie in the _huge amount_ of love Timmy and Ziva have for you." Abby said, taking the girl's face in her hands. "They wanted a baby _so much_ , and Ziva couldn't carry one- not without immediately suffering a miscarriage- that their only option would have been to adopt. And then Sarah got pregnant with you, and she asked them to adopt you. She knew that they would give you everything she couldn't, and that they would love you so deeply that it hurt."

"But they _lied_. They lied and they... they never _said anything_. How.. how can I trust them after this?" She asked, pulling away and crossing her arms over her chest.

"You have to, because they're your parents." Elizabeth's head snapped up, and she met Sarah's eyes.

"No, they _aren't_. They're not my parents, they're strangers... _she's_ _not_ my _mom_. You are." Sighing, Sarah got up, going to the girl. Perching on the coffee table, she shook her head, meeting the girl's green eyes.

"No, I'm not. I've never been your mother, I never _wanted_ to be your mother. I know it's a horrible thing to say, but it's true. The last thing I wanted to be was a mother, and so when I got pregnant with you, I decided that I would give you to someone who I knew desperately, desperately wanted to have a baby but couldn't. So I asked Tim and Ziva to adopt you, and to see the joy... the absolute radiant hope and joy on Ziva's face... to realize I'd given her this gift... this... this little miracle that she wanted so desperately... it was the best thing I could do, giving you up for adoption. Timmy may be your uncle by blood, but he's been your father from the _moment_ I asked them to adopt you. That's _all_ he's ever been, that's _all_ he's ever wanted to be, was a father. And I'm so glad I was able to give him the chance to be one."

Elizabeth sniffled. "But you're my mom-"

Sarah shook her head. "No. I'm not your mother, not in any way that matters. The only thing I did was carry and give birth to you. I did _nothing_ else. Understand?" She reached out to take the girl's hands, squeezing gently. "Ziva did _everything else_ ; everything a mother does for her daughter- the midnight feedings and the doctor's appointments and the sick days and the school projects- Ziva did everything for you, because you're her daughter. Okay, so... so maybe she didn't carry and give birth to you, but she loved you Just as much as if she had, if not more. And... and my brother... Timmy, he..."

Sarah took a deep breath. "He taught you how to ride a bike, didn't he? And how to walk, and how to dance and.... and he taught you everything else that daddies do. My brother is more your father than the man who helped me conceive you. Tim didn't run- he _wouldn't_ run- _ever_. And when I asked him... he was _honored_ , Elizabeth, and when you were born... he was there; they both were. And when I told the doctor to lay you in his arms... he was so excited, so in love with you, so... so _ready_ to be a daddy, that I knew- I _knew_ \- I'd made the right choice, asking them to adopt you. And you know what? I don't regret it. I don't regret giving you up for adoption, because you gave my brother and sister-in-law a chance to have a family; to be parents. They never would have gotten that chance if I hadn't given them you." She brushed a strand of hair off the girl's cheek. "Don't be angry at them, sweetie. Tim and Ziva.... _they_ are your parents, Elizabeth, not me."

The girl let the words sink in, but her thoughts were interrupted by Gibbs's soft voice. "Do you love them, Lilibet?" She turned to the Team Leader. He studied her, seeing the mix of emotion that filled her green eyes. The girl was confused, hurt, most likely betrayed. A moment passed, before she breathed,

"Yes."

"And if you hadn't discovered the truth, if Tony hadn't blabbed, would you still love them?"

Her head snapped up, green eyes in shock as she stared at him. " _Of course_ , what kind of question is that?"

"Then what makes this situation different? You love your parents, what does it matter that they didn't create you, didn't bring you into this world?" He reached up, taking the girl's chin in his hand. "It doesn't, and it _shouldn't_ matter. All that matters is that they _love you_ and that they've never _stopped_ loving you."

"Elizabeth, I gave you to Tim and Ziva, because I knew, that from the moment you were born, they would do everything in their power to protect you. That they would love you and raise you and protect you with all their hearts. And they have. Elizabeth, they love you as if they'd created themselves."

Without a word, the girl got up, rushing from the room, heading through the kitchen to the backyard. She found Tim and Ziva sitting on the porch steps, Jethro laying beside them. They were talking softly, and Tim glanced over his shoulder at her as she stepped onto the porch. Ziva sniffled, laying her head on his chest, and Elizabeth could hear the soft sobs her mother was trying to control. She swallowed, slowly making her way towards them. Cautiously, so as not to scare her mother, she took a seat beside her, watching. She'd never seen Ziva so upset, and the fact that she was the cause-

"A... Aunt Sarah said..." She stopped, biting her lip. "She said that... that you can't have a baby. Why?" Ziva took a deep breath, struggling to stem her tears before she spoke. Slowly, she sat up, wiping the tears away.

"There was an... an accident, a couple years before you were born... we'd... we'd been chasing a suspect in Ireland and... and we'd cornered him in the hotel he was staying in, and... we didn't realize there was a bomb parked outside... he set it off." She stopped, causing Tim to up.

"It was a... a twenty story hotel, and we were on the twelfth floor. We were stuck under the rubble for a week; honestly, I'm surprised we lived. Most people weren't that lucky." He took Ziva's hand. "When we found out that Ziva couldn't have children... that if she ever did get pregnant, she'd miscarry... it could have ended us. We both wanted children, but.." He shrugged. "We stuck it out; we got married, we had talked about adopting, and we were going to go to an adoption agency when Sarah got pregnant."

"And she... asked you to... adopt me." Elizabeth whispered. They nodded. She took a deep breath. "And you..." She swallowed. "You adopted me. But... but why didn't you _tell_ me?"

"We didn't think it was the right time." Ziva whispered. "We were... planning on taking you aside tomorrow and...  and explaining the truth, just... just Tim and I but... but..."

"Tony ruined it." Elizabeth whispered. The older woman nodded, fresh tears in her eyes.

"We understand, if you feel as though you can't trust us anymore, Elizabeth, but everything that we've done for you over the last fourteen years was done because we love you. We've always loved you and we always will love you. You're our daughter, in every way, shape and form." Ziva quickly wiped at the tears on her cheeks, and Tim pressed a kiss to her head.

"If you want... to live with Sarah, we understand. It's your choice, Elizabeth and we aren't going to stop you." Tim whispered, holding his wife close. Ziva buried her face in his chest, only the sound of her sniffling breaking the silence. Elizabeth took a deep breath, turning back to the house. Ziva was right, they did love her, and she was their daughter. And Sarah...

Sarah had been more of an aunt to her over the last fourteen years, that if she ever got to know the woman as her mother, it would just be... weird. No, Sarah wasn't her mother, just as she'd said- all she'd done was give birth to her; _Ziva_ was her mother. Ziva had always been her mother, from the moment she was born. She turned back to her parents. She had a choice to make, and after a moment, bit her lip.

 "Why would I live with Aunt Sarah? I love her, but..." She reached out, taking Ziva's hand. "But you're my mother." She swallowed. "You've... always been my mother. Why would that change now?" Ziva bit her lip, not wanting to fully believe what her daughter was saying. As if to make her point, Elizabeth scooted closer, wrapping her arms around Ziva's waist and resting her head on the woman's chest. She could hear the erratic, upset heartbeat begin to slow and calm, and couldn't help smiling. "I love you, Mama. I've always loved you, and... and nothing's going to change that."

Slowly, cautiously, Ziva slid her arms around her daughter, glancing at her husband. Tim shrugged, pressing a kiss to her head. After a moment, Ziva turned back to the girl, squeezing her gently. "Daddy..." She swallowed. "Daddy and I love you too, baby girl." Slowly, Tim turned, seeing Gibbs and Sarah standing at the French doors. Sarah gave him a small smile, and Tim returned, mouthing softly,

_'Thank you.'_

Sarah nodded in return, seeing the weight lift off her brother's shoulders.


End file.
